So this weeks blog has been inspired by the incredible new addition to our family, my nephew Joe. I’m and auntie for the very first time and it feel’s amazing, even more amazing that I can still sleep through the night and hand him back! It got me thinking about babies, they are not just babies. They are a fresh new existence of life, a blank canvas waiting to be coloured in by a variety of colours. They have no idea of love and hate, life and death, right and wrong or happy and sad. It just is. Just be is always the header of my blog, as I always ask clients when was the last time that they “Just be”? sat and enjoyed that coffee with a Jaffa cake, or chilled in the garden with a glass of something without a worry, problem, concern or thought of next week, month or even hour popping into their head? Well this is the beauty of my little nephew and a million other babies and little ones. They have no worries that they are aware of, all that they care about is warmth, food, water, sleep and feeling clean. Very basic, but it makes sense. It Joe’s arrival has made me realize the importance of building one another as human beings, not knock one another down. As someone clever clogs once said, “You should never look down on a person unless you are helping them up.” True. As children develop, they begin to learn, who they are, what they like and also what they don’t like and fears and anxiety’s begin to kick in then. Fear’s of wasps, spiders, the dark or that old lady at the bottom of the road that stinks and looks like a witch on acid!!! ( my sons old fear in our old house when he was a little fella!) When I first began all my training, I studied a Russian psychologist called Ivan Pavlov, he knocked around in the late 1890’s and it was him that loved studying the mind and came up with the “Salvation of the dogs”. You may or not heard of it before but cutting a very long story short he realized that the dog was beginning to form associates before he was fed. He knew that the man in the laboratory in the white coat always fed him, and when the man walked in the room the dog would salivate, before there was any sight of food. Pavlov then introduced a bell, he would ring that bell before the man walked in the room to feed him and shortly the dog connected that bell with food and would salivate. What I am getting at is, babies are a brand new canvas and are a sponge ready to soak in everything you show them, do, act like, say…..anything. Joe will soon recognize the feeling of hunger, the smell of his mum for food and the feeling of safety when he hears certain voices. Kid’s are ready to absorb, so if you show them love, right and wrong and a million of other things they will put their own twist on it!
kids love to laugh and I believe they learn a lot from laughing, so have fun with them! If we show our kiddie’s and others negative traits, wrong attitudes, drag them down, don’t praise them etc they will absorb it eventually, I am not saying for a second that any of you readers are I am just highlighting the importance of lives and making them the best they can be. So moving onto adulthood, what if someone is broken, damaged, hurting and battered and bruised emotionally, is it to late? No, not at all. It will take hard work from someone like me! They will almost need to reset their mind, exactly like you would with a computer and begin again. It is possible and I have done it before. You have these people that can look broken or depressed. They are pale, tired looking and can’t stop crying but don’t be fooled. The people that are hurting the most, nine time’s out of ten are the ones with a smile on the face, out in the fresh air have their make-up on and are looking great. Don’t be fooled by appearances. So we need to deal with the bullshit in our heads and listen to the other bits of bullshit in are friends, neighbors or loved ones heads. It is really and needs dealing with.
A little task for you, draw a circle and in that circle right in it everything you are. Mother, father, auntie, uncle, friend, cousin, student, employee, artist, writer, dog owner and so on. When one of these goes wrong, which it will its life cross it out in your circle. Realize that its just that one part of you that has gone wrong, not everything. Your “whole life” isn’t a mess. It’s just that one thing that can be fixed.
Thanks for reading and supporting me.
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Auntie Kate! x