What is it? what does it want? where has it come from?
Its a massive pain in my arse. I hate it. It used to consume my every move not so long back. I would make plans around it “Just incase” or “What if” I would cancel friends, nights out and in extreme cases I’d hurt myself just to release some of that feeling and tension in my body.
In the past I’ve locked myself in many bathrooms in different parties with an empty bottle of beer, smashed it and then cut myself. Just to release that feeling of panic, because I look different, my thighs are bigger that hers, look how confident she is, I bet she doesn’t have anxiety…..blah blah blah. Look its all bloody bollocks when it comes to bodies and images and shapes and sizes. I can see that now, and its not to late. One of the first things with anxiety I would say if self acceptance, If you like you then you’re a lot tougher than you think. I love nothing more than seeing a larger beautiful lady, rocking the bright pink lippy, multi-coloured Kaftan and laughing so loud and happily her confidence within her shines like sunbeams out of the pours in her face!!! And then you see a lot of girls that look a lot like a pencil and they’re buzzing because they’ve only licked an apple today and had half a tin of Tuna! but these girls, not all of them but a lot of them are missing something. Personality, confidence, self-acceptance and happiness. “Things” don’t make us happy, Money doesn’t make us happy, lots of friends don’t make us happy. Its YOU that makes YOU happy. The other stuff helps, but having the right mind set and self-acceptance is the biggest thing in life you can have.
Anyone from any background can get anxiety. But anxiety is often triggered off by something. It is a fear, you have felt threatened. Some people don’t know why they have this anxiety, but your mind will. You may of witnessed something on telly, in mums and tots or read something and unconsciously your brains have taken that on board and owned it like it was “Your” thought. And then there is the people like me who know full well where their anxiety has come from. Very quickly, mine was from my sons Incident in 2010 where he was put in hospital, then a wheelchair and on the last day he was brought home by Ambulance, nurses and a bed was waiting downstairs for him, but I was ill. I had a 24 hour bug and I couldn’t be there for him. I was devastated. So now if I get ill or even so much have a sore throat I panic. “What if I get ill and cant be a mum” five years down the line it still gets me but I’m dealing with it. I know people that struggle with anxiety that has been a reaction to a loved one dying, just from becoming a new parent, work overload, stress, nursing loved ones, being attacked on a daily basis by aggressive parents which now effects them today as grown ups.
So how does it effect them? here is a list of common side effects of anxiety that I have come across
- Complete numbing in hands, arms, feet and even the rudey area
- Metal taste in mouth
- Weight gain
- Weight loss
- Lack of sleep
- Sweaty palms
- Heavy breathing
- Dry mouth
- Urge to hurt self
I came across somebody that once had all of these symptoms. I’m glad to say she eventually managed to gain control back and basically said fuck off to anxiety. It is possible. I do it everyday nearly. It likes to pop up and say “hiya” whilst I’m relaxing, out enjoying myself and just remind me “Don’t forget about little old me Kate”.
Just this morning I received a message off a client I used to see that was consumes with anxiety and the what if’s and she message me from the other side of the world, in a Yoga retreat by herself! How amazing is that!! I’m telling you anxiety can go, and if it doesn’t go it can be controlled. I control mine by keeping busy, seeing friends, woman boxing class, walking, gardening, reading and writing and more if I can fit it in!! if it makes you happy, do it. If you know someone with anxiety and you’re not sure how to deal with them or approach it just remember this. The simplest things of life for you can be the most difficult and challenging for them. Talking to people, parking the car, putting the bin out, going to work, looking in the mirror the list goes on. So you may not understand it and why should you if you’ve never experience it? but please empathise with them and listen to what that person is telling you. They will eventually achieve what they have set out to do but they may just do it differently and that isn’t wrong. 5+4=9 and 8+1=9 they both get exactly the same result but they have just done it differently, you must except that. If you push someone that is anxious then they wont do it and could result in an attack. So support them let them know you are there to support, listen and most importantly they just need to take their time. Only when that person feels heard, and understood will they then push themselves to try new challenges and push themselves because they are ready. Not you. I don’t think I’ve felt this good and mentally well for a long time and if I put a figure on it Id say at least before my son was born so 10 year plus! I’m made up. So lets stop ignoring those people you don’t quite understand, or may lock themselves away. They all need help. Mentally Health is fascinating, so get talking about it and learn about the power of the mind.
Anxiety can be controlled, it can be dealt with and you can live with anxiety. Anxiety is like a pair of boobs or a ball’s! what ever you have! but you don’t always think about it, you never forget you have it but you live it with. You wear the right thing to make it comfortable! and I wear acceptance. I accept that it may always be a part of my life, I accept it may sometimes be worse than others but I know if I use my safety blanket of talking, being open, drinking plenty of water, eating well, exercise and treating myself once in a while Ill be ok. If you look back on the times in your life when you where extremely anxious I bet you can now see that actually it was ok?! Its never as bad as it seems. But when It is as bad as what you first thought, you dealt with it.
Look after you minds,