Evening you lot! Hope you’re all doing well? feeling good? fighting those demons? If not I’m so sorry you are struggling, have you told anyone? I totally understand if you haven’t because I didn’t! I honestly think I could win an award for best female actress, I used to be all smiles, jokes and full of beans, but what they didn’t know was I was dying inside wishing somebody could mind read and then hug me. Wearing long sleeve tops hiding the visible scars. But by doing that what did I achieve? nothing. Absolutely nothing. My worries took away my time there and then. What a pile of bollocks hey?! but It is all gravy baby! Because I do believe that stuff happens for a reason. And if I didn’t go through any of that stuff I wouldn’t be in the job I’m in today, I wouldn’t be writing this blog and I wouldn’t be so empathic and passionate about my job.
Let’s talk about men. I’ve had a number of males just over the past week referred to me. It’s about 50/50 men and woman which is a positive step to say we are moving forward with mental health. Its becoming more and more talked about and accepted. People are beginning to understand as to why men and woman feel this way. The stresses on our lives today is huge. What car you drive, how much money you have, how many kids you have, how much salary you’re on, how many bedrooms do you have……the list goes on and on and on. Life sadly has become a bit of a competition. Men a few years back had to be tough and not talk or cry because if they did then it was a sign of weakness. How sad is that? just because they have a willy they can’t cry! Well I am glad to say that it’s changing. Men are putting their hands up saying they are struggling, they feel depressed, stressed, where beaten as a little boy, abused, never felt love and they need it now. It’s never ever to late. Trust me. I saw a lovely quote the other day and it just had a picture of two Orchids and it just said ” A flower does not think of competing with another flower next to it. It just blooms.” Why can’t we do that? But we can, as babies we don’t care what nappies the other babies wearing or what make their high chair is! We just see them as another person and soul. We can do that now. Stop comparing with others, concentrate on our own lives and improve what you can, be happy with what makes you happy and change the stuff that makes you unhappy.
If we where to open up our bodies, you’d be able to see all our organs, bones, bits and bobs! but you can’t see a soul, personality and mental illness. So wonder what depression would look like? A little sad black dog? an old guy giving you the finger whilst knocking back a whisky?!! what I’m getting at is it can be anything you want it to be. It doesn’t have to be black and control you. Mine I like to think as a Lotus flower, the flower opens more often now and shines brightly, but some days it closes. But it never dies. water your flowers and look after yourselves.
As you know one of my dreams is to go to Brighton Pier! and It’s all booked. When I think about it my heart races, my anxiety kicks in, the “What if’s” kick in and I have told myself at least 10 times, you’re not going Kate! stay at home with the kids it’ll be safer. For years my anxiety and depression has won. Well no more sunshine!! I am winning and I am going and I will have a fab time. Just me and my chicks!