How’s everybody’s week been? On the whole mine has been quite good. Id say out of 7 days I had 5 great care free days and two not so care free, one in particular. Why? well there is always a reason with anxiety. It comes and smacks you in the face when you are expecting it! and I was expecting it. I was away this weekend and I was really looking forward to and didn’t want anything to ruin it. So what if it did? what if I got ill? and that’s my biggie. So I suppose I try and make myself feel ill! because “it is going to happen right?” So the sore throat starts, my temp went high and yes I did that all myself because us humans are clever and then I didn’t realise how clever I was, my hubby came down with a cold!! this anxiety is powerful shit, I can make people have my worries. Just pure coincidence obviously! The day before I was due to go I was shaking like mad, breathing was terrible and I just felt terrible. I even wanted to cancel my hair appointment for a curly blow because I didn’t think I’d be able to sit still. But I did. Id just arrived into work, how can I help people when I feel like this? I need to do something quick to get it all out of my body, like a negative detox. So I wrote this little poem in under 5 minuets. Please click on the link below.
That pretty much sums up my day on Friday! but writing does help a lot, so maybe try it yourself? I also love this little breathing technique. It works a treat ( just make sure you blow your nose beforehand!!)
I am coping a lot better with the kids these days lately. I don’t get any feelings of dread in the morning or throughout the day I just feel like being mum and I am happy doing so. Some days I wanted to lock myself away or just go to bed and not wake up for a month. I needed peace and with kids especially my two you don’t get peace. My house resembles a tip, I cook 4 different meals a night whilst splitting up fights, feeding the cat and doing the dishes all whilst the hubby’s sat down because he’s had a hard day!!!! because all I do is watch loose women and drink tea!! ( which I do but he doesn’t need to know this ) but its not just me, it’s not just my house and its not my fault. No more internalizing. It is bad for you. But I can only do this on good days. I was talking with a client this week and we where talking about school grades and the pressures students are under. When I was a kid getting C was amazing, you’d passed. But now apparently that’s not that great. Its all about the A*,A’s and B’s. How sad and what kind of an example are teachers setting if they are expecting perfection. I am happy with a C. It is more achievable, it’s not perfect but it is something you would be happy with. Let’s try and have a C life. Be happy, laugh, cry, be sad, but be more happy, do things you like but you have to do some things you don’t quite like too, eat your greens and then have the cake. Make your life and days well rounded.
And remember as quick as the anxiety and darkness comes it can go.