So who sais motherhood is the best thing in the world? Sometimes it is when they play nicely and we are all having quality family time, but what about the days like today (Sunday) my back has gone “Twang” I am home alone with the kids and my daughter currently is the spawn of the devil, trust me. She doesn’t listen, cheeky and eats every second of every day just like a hoover, except a hoover I can pop in the cupboard. Now because I am her mother I am aloud to say this stuff and I know my friends feel the same about there kids!! I saw a post on Facebook the other day saying “Cherish your children as they are a gift, so embrace their tantrums, sleepless nights and felt-tip on the walls”. Bollocks to that, I’m sorry but I can’t quite embrace that one. I love my two, honestly, whole heartedly and would choose them over cake any day, but the thought of having another one makes me feel slightly sick. I am done with having babies, done with being on my own all weekend, done with working my life around the kids and I am done with buying bumper packs of processed chicken nuggets! I want to be able to really enjoy my weekends, meet a friend for a coffee or liquid lunch on a Saturday without being accompanied by a girl child that has stuck a marshmallow up her nose and needs to snot it out. Id like to get to know Kate again, earn more money, and be able to get my nails done without feeling guilty. But do you know what? I know how incredibly lucky I am. Married, a child of each flavour and I wouldn’t want them not to be in my life. Just sometimes though I could drop them off at the Salvation Army! We laugh a lot, play a lot and have fun. Maybe I could work full time, but then I’d want to be at home. Maybe I could meet friends every weekend but then Id feel guilty for leaving them. I think this is normal? Oh well, in only 5 months and 4 weeks ( not counting ) my daughter goes to school full time!!!! bye bye!! I’m telling you, motherhood should come with a instruction booklet and an emergency help line.
So how have I been? ok actually. Not bad, I haven’t had any dark thoughts, certainly no thoughts of suicide and not even wanted to cut. And If I haven’t felt like that with my daughters behaviour lately then that’s good enough for me. One thing I have found that I just absolutely love, is painting. I’ve always been an artistic person and I love colour so a few cheap canvases and oil paints I’m off. I don’t think about a thing, I just mix all my favourite colours that clash and hope for the best. Another thing I love is gardening! its food for the soul, and today has been lovely. I sat with ice on my sore back and potted some plants, the sun was beaming on my face, I was drinking green tea and little miss was whizzing up and down the street at a 100mph on her bike, covered in mud, with no shoes on! and Cornflakes in the back in case of emergency!! That was nice. So if you can manage your mental health and I mean manage it don’t ignore it then you will always win. If you choose to ignore it and hope for the best its not great. Feel good about life, don’t beat yourself up about wanting to hand your kids into the Sally Army, every mum in the land has at some point. Even my super strong, I can babysit a million kids, incredible and never get stressed mother-in-law Margy broke at some points when her 3 where growing up! So its fine. But talk to someone, please.
Manage your mental health
- Get outside every day
- Invest in your friends
- Eat well
- Tell the truth
- If you are on medication, take it.
- Read a good book
- Buy Gin
- If something goes wrong, tell someone and talk about it
- Get a job, and if you can’t work then get a hobby
- Eat Chocolate Hob-nobs they make the world seem a happier place
- If you feel sad, then tell someone.
Love K.K.K Katie, your D.D.D Darling