Big Pebbles


It’s a word used a lot lately.  Everyone is stressed because they have work, a family, sometimes 2 or 3 jobs, kids going to all different clubs and events, members of the family to take care of and the list goes on.  But what is healthy stress? and what is unhealthy stress? We all need healthy stress in our lives because it gives us the kick up the arse to get jobs done,  blood pumping and gives us a sense of purpose.  Going to work gets us up, showered and a sense of responsibility, coming home and cooking the family tea then going for a run in the evening or meeting a friend.  These are all healthy and are balanced well.  But if you begin to feel stressed these are some of the symptoms;

  • Headaches
  • Dizzy spells
  • Lack of appetite
  • Struggle getting off to sleep or staying asleep
  • Lack of concentration
  • Low sex drive
  • Depression symptoms
  • Low energy
  • Upset tummy
  • Aches, pains and tense muscles
  • Rapid heartbeat and chest pains
  • Coughs and colds
Stress is a killer so it is important to recognise these signs and work with them.  Woman in general face stress better than men.  This isn’t a blanket statement though because there are a lot of fella’s out there that do cope and cope well.  But woman are talkers, we put the kettle on with friends, chat to the stranger at the bus stop and are just more open when It comes to our problems.  In the UK 12 men a day take their own life,  the numbers are sadly rising as the economy has struggled.  To much stress on money, being in debt, being the “man of the house” attitude and struggling with body image and worrying to much about others and not enough energy on themselves.  To much stress can;
  • Damage your immune system and heart
  • Increase your chance of developing serious health problems
  • Reduce life expectancy
  • Damage your sex life
  • Don’t want this to happen? get talking then.  If you can’t tell a mate, then go to your doctor fellas.
I am seeing a lot of people these days that are massively stressed. Some are top directors of big companies, surgeons or parents of a few children and living off benefits and unsure of where the next meal is coming from.  Stress is stress and it doesn’t pick certain types of people.  It can bite any of us of the bum.  When working with the client, I like to  look for their triggers.  What gets you angry? What are your thought patterns? Do you expect everyone to think your way? Then I’ll look at lively hood.  How’s your sleep, diet, exercise and friendship circles.
The Pebbles in a jar theory!
This is a theory I like to use when working with people dealing with stress, but it can also be applied to depression and anxiety.  I’ll take a jar and place in the jar some chunky pebbles.  Ill ask my client if the Jar is full.  They reply yes.  So these pebbles represent the important things in your life such as, partner’s, children, family, passions, friends and health.  I’ll then pour in some tiny pebbles, these fill in all the little gaps.  These tiny pebbles represent your job, house and car.  Is the jar full? Yes.  But then Ill pour in sand, which then fill in the even smaller gaps!! And then to finish it off when you thought it was full, Ill pour in a glass of water which represent the even smaller things.  Always concentrate on the big pebbles because if everything else was gone at least your jar would still be full.  And just because you can fit it in your life, it doesn’t mean you have to.  Next time you are about to take something on, do that overtime, take on another job at home ask yourself just because it fits in your jar does it have to?
Look after yourselves and your jars!
Kate xx

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