I’m sorry for not being around last week. I have been over run with illness in my house and it seems to be hopefully at an end now thank you please!! And what do I fear the most? illness! So how have a coped? not bad at all. I’ve surprised myself by getting on with it and being a mummy and thinking about my little ones needs and how uncomfortable she must be with all of them chicken pox. They where everywhere. Anyway, I am back and ready to go!
How is everyone’s mental health? Have you been looking after every area of your life? Because that’s what it takes. You can’t just go to work, be the super parent and eat a few green beans and your done. Life is built with many different ingredients. You can’t bake a cake without a number of things and you cant build a life without a few crucial bits and bobs. Life has to be worked at and nurtured in order to be a good one. If you don’t look after yourself and keep working at it then you wont reach the places you want to go. Lets go back to basics:
Have you ever seen this bad boy? This is Maslows Heirarchy of needs. Abraham Maslow. He was a psychologist studied my many people including my fine self!! He was into the minds of people and what makes them tick. And he wanted to understand what motivates people. He thought that people are motivated to meet certain needs, and when that is then fulfilled we move on to the next one and so on. His hierarchy includes five motivational needs and you can see them in the pyramid above.
This is really handy for anybody to use. You don’t need to be qualified or work within mental health but if you can understand it then it is a good tool to use on yourself if you feel like your life is missing something out, maybe you are worried about a loved one? or possibly a good friend is showing signs of depression. Print it off and wack it on your fridge. Everyday without realising it as humans we are meeting needs, food for hunger, sleep for tiredness and a roof over our heads for shelter. But of course we take them all for granted! So look at yourself and look at these five areas;
- Physiological needs. These include air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex and sleep. Are these needs being met in your life? Very basic, this is at the base of the pyramid but it is where you begin. Are you getting fresh air, eating well, drinking water with a roof over your head and the option to pop the heating on if you get cold? Sex, are you happy and are you safe and protecting yourself? and the final one sleep. How is your sleeping pattern and could it be better?
- Safety- Do you feel protection in your life, relationships, home and work? Do you feel stability and are you free from fear. If you don’t feel safe then this will begin to chip away at you as a person. Ask yourself why you dont feel safe and look at which area you feel this. How can you improve this?
- Love and Belongings-These consist of friendships, intimacy, affection, love from work, family, friends and romantic relationships. It is important to feel like you belong. You don’t need to be in a relationship to belong but you must be in one of the above. A lot of people who retire, leave jobs to be a full-time parent, house husbands and wifes etc can struggle in this area as their sense of belonging may have shifted. Can you replace that and how? I believe its important to have a purpose to get up and showered in the morning by a certain time, whether that be for work or walking to the shop for a paper. You must make yourself a part of society, it wont come knocking on your door.
- Esteem and needs -This is all about achievement. Nothing to do with money, it’s about have you felt achievement? do you feel it on a daily basis or even a weekly basis? if not then this needs to be looked at. An achievement for someone who struggles with life can be picking up the phone and paying a bill, tidying the house but you must feel a sense of achievement. Have you go self-respect, independence and do you feel in control of your life?
- Self actualization- We are now at the top of the pyramid. This point is all about reaching your own potential having self fulfillment, seeking professional growth and peak experiences.
remember that this is a base, it is a guide. If you don’t ever reach self-actualization that’s ok but if you can just see your own potential as a human being then that is great. Most people hop between 2,3&4 and then may fall back again and thats ok to. We are not perfect. We make mistakes, our confidence can be shaken and our houses can fall down. But as long as you know, you will always have the ability to build it back up again. You will always have that ability in you, you just have to look for it. We are good eggs!!
This time 10 years ago I honestly thought my life was over. I was 21 living in a one bedroom flat, no money a pregnancy I didn’t want but had to get on with and no clue how I was going to survive. We both had each other though thank god and as much as I’m not a soppy person, I can honestly say I wouldn’t be alive today if it wasnt for Paul. I am the odd manic one that takes everything to heart and he is Mr “Let it go over your head and don’t give a shit”!! He promised me everything would be ok and it was. As hard as I found it becoming a mum and never thinking I could ever do it or ever feel love I now feel “it”. Whatever “it” is I feel it! That little baby boy is nearly ten. And he is the best thing that has ever happened to me, he made me live, love and laugh. And that is more important than anything.